Column

They say Barack Obama is living the American Dream. But there was another dream that rattled the 44th American President-elect just minutes before he won the election. It started with Obama running helter-skelter through the White House. He was running upstairs, downstairs, opening doors, peeping through windows and looking up fireplaces. He was the Black President lost in the White House! “Damn,” he muttered under his breath. “I’d told my wife and kids to stick close to me. Now they’re lost.
There are 132 rooms, 35 bathrooms, 412 doors, 147 windows, 28 fireplaces, 8 staircases and three elevators! How the hell am I going to find them?”

Obama strolled into the Oval Office and decided to rest for a while. Soon, his entire staff walked in and started emptying their pockets of all the coins onto the table. “What are you doing?” asked Obama. The Secretary of State pointed to the heap of coins on the table and said, “Mr President, all through your campaign you kept insisting America needs CHANGE. So we decided to help by giving you all the loose change we’ve, sir!”

Obama dashed out of the Oval Office and stumbled into the War Room, where he’s greeted by the National Security Advisor, who’s holding two steaming dishes in each hands. “These are from Pakistan’s President Zardari,” he said. “Kashmiri Pulao and Dum Aloo Kashmiri! He also requests permission to fly down and drool over you!”
Obama sneered and snapped, “The way he drooled over Sarah Palin? No thanks!”

He stomped out of the War Room and bumped into the Secretary of Treasury who handed him a long bill. “Your campaign expenditure, sir,” he said. Obama shrieked, “$900 on Domino’s pizzas? $2200 on Starbucks coffees? $426 on Einstein bagels? $2500 on Dunkin donuts? This is how we won the election? On a diet of junk food!”
Obama stuffed the bill into his pocket and proceeded to make his acceptance speech: “As your new President, I promise you CHANGE! Let’s begin by driving out or breaking the legs of all outsiders in America! Let’s rename all roads, flyovers, airports and cities! Let politicians exercise their freedom of speech but have the right to violently react and demand an apology from anyone else who does the same! Let’s make it our constitutional right to destroy public property to express our emotions! Oops… wrong speech! This belongs to some Indian politician!” Obama woke up and heaved a sigh of relief.