Column

Every one's got one, your dhobhi, the vada pav wala and the auntie next door, and so isn't it time we talked about mobile manners?

What is the most irritating thing about mobile phones? I can think of half a dozen-but here's two: people who call you on your cell and launch in to a full blown monologue without the courtesy of asking - can you talk? Is this an appropriate time? I mean the whole point of mobiles is that you could be taking that call anywhere -in the middle of a high powered meeting, at a condolence meet, in the loo…

As bad is of course when people get their secretaries or operators to call you on your mobile - only to be kept waiting until the sahib deigns to get on the line.

And I don't know about you but I think this whole ring tone thing is getting a bit out of hand - Bollywood remixes, Beatles' medleys, Balle Balle - I mean after calling a handful of people I'm left thinking I've woken up on a bad day at the Razzberry Rhinoceros for God's sake! You like tune, you listen to it all day on your headphones, spare the world and our eardrums!

And of course I could write a chapter about blind calling by marketing salesman trying to hawk banks/credit cards/holiday/whathaveyous. Things that you inevitably don't want-and in any case would never buy from an unknown voice on the phone in the first place!

Then there's all this marketing by sms that needs to stop. Restaurants, sari shops, night clubs, all day I'm deleting ungrammatical messages from places I'd never want to go to anyway.

Which reminds me, if you are going to sms - then at least do people the courtesy of sending them original personalized messages. If you want to tell me you've remembered me - a one liner will say more than those words of wisdom/jokes/ quotations.

And never use capitals. On an email or sms using capitals is akin to shouting.

And yes, however great you imagine yourself to be - print out your name at the end of your sms. You never know - the receiver may have just had his entire data base wiped out just that day and will spend the rest of it wondering who's sent him your message.Also plain good manners should apply whatever the technology. It is rude, very rude to enter a party and then proceed to talk on your mobile. As rude as picking someone up for a date and deferring greeting them because you are on a call. Your date ought to turn around and go home if she had any sense.

And lastly don't be a technobore. You might think your cell phone is a thing of beauty and a joy forever - but spare lesser mortals that speech on its salient features.

Above all try and remember that it's just a phone. Not a radio, a chick-magnet, an excuse for bad manners or a marketing tool.

And then perhaps we can all get on with our lives!

s_malavika@dnaindia.net