Column

While the world’s largest democracy formed a government with the largest number of ministers, and even as prime minister Manmohan Singh was trying to appease some more power-hungry political allies with suitable positions like deputy minister, assistant minister, associate minister, senior minister and junior minister, I was far away in a Bangkok mall where a thousand Indians were on a shopping spree that would give any American, European or Australian an inferiority complex. No wonder the white guys hate us so much!

We seem to be unaffected by recession and our army of middle class consumers seem to be spreading out across continents and besieging every popular tourist spot in the world.

The impact of India can gauged from the fact that when I visited Bangkok eight years ago, vegetarian food was a rarity. Now there are a dozen Indian restaurants in every part of the city. Of course, some things don’t change. Like, the counter girl at McDonald’s still frowned and shook her head with a curt ‘no have’ when I asked for a
veg burger.

But despite their strength in numbers and spending power, Indians seem to be suffering from some really bad PR. As I ambled through the famous MBK Centre, I noticed that it was our desi folks than the ‘goras’ who seemed to be enthusiastically splurging on everything from clothes to perfumes and footwear.

But the polite and soft-spoken Thai salespeople would ignore them the moment a white-skinned couple walked into their shop — who would ask the price, haggle a bit and walk away empty-handed while the Indian would quietly tolerate the brief humiliation, drive a hard bargain and still make a purchase.

Surely, these Thais underestimate our capacity for patience, which has seen us endure repeated terrorist attacks, irresponsible politicians and clumsy civic administration.

“We intimidate the world,” pointed out a fellow passenger on the return flight. “We speak better English than the Englishman! We win Booker Prizes! We send rockets to space! Indians hold important positions in the Obama government! The Indian Premier League redefined cricket as a business module! Bollywood is so big that now Hollywood wants a share in the spoils! We’re taking over the world!”

Then, as an afterthought, he concluded: “It’s either that or there are far too many of us out there. Those Australian racists don’t know that if all the Indians in Sydney and Melbourne gang up, there will be more of us than their local population.”