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Tales From The Locker Room

Folks, very gently look around you. Please first ensure that no one is seeing you read this article. I have got some startling unbroken news, an exchange of letters between our foreign minister and the prime minister of Pakistan.Look around you, check again, then look left, look right, look left again, now start reading...

Dear Pinky (Asif’s pet name in political circles),
What the hell is going on?
Love, Pronob

Dear Pron (Pronob’s nickname in political circles),
If your are referring to the chickaan material you ordered last week, it’s on and on its way. There are just some last minute custom issues. Customs are a law unto themselves in Pakistan, you know.
Yours lovingly,
Pinky
Dear Pinky,
Forget the damn chikaan. What the (please put the Bengali expletive of explaining the act of coitus) is going on?
Love,
Pronob
Dear Pron,
Don’t lose your churidar, yaar. If your blood pressure is soaring because of the Kashmir carpet’s late arrival, this is only because I’m trying to remove the made in Taiwan label on the carpets. Who needs more controversy, yaar? Besides, shipping and handling has a life of their own in Pakistan.
Loves yaar,
Pinky
Pinky dearest,
Everything has a limit with you. Tell me what the (the Bengali expletive involving ancestors), (Bengali expletive involving parenting), ( Bengali expletives involving Bengali), is happening?
Love shiftingly,
Pronob
My dearest Pron, Pron, Pron,
I have never heard such tasteful language from you. Not even when I was able to get Sarah Palin’s personal number and email and you didn’t. If you are worried about the army boots that I promised you, let me tell you I just recalled the pair that was sent as the shoes were of two different sizes. Corrective measures are being taken, but frankly the army is quite independent from the State.
PS Pron I’m enclosing a picture of some young Pakistani actresses to calm you down.

Dear Pinky,
You have 48 hours.
Pronob

Dear Pron,
I have 48 hours, another 48 hours and the entire Beverly Hills Cop collection. I’m sending them along with the Kashmiri carpet, army boots, and the chikaan material.
Love,
Pinky

Okay folks, you’ve read the list. Now make sure nobody sees it. And burn the evidence.