Column

After Effects

These last few days have left me highly disturbed. It’s not the state of the nation. It’s not the bad roads, the dead telephone or the blinking electricity. It’s not the Indian angle on international terrorism either.

It’s the international angle on Indian babes! Why are firang guys trying to kiss our bholi-bali bombshells! Just when we were recovering from Richard Gere kissing Shilpa Shetty, some Ronaldo dares to do the same to poor Bipasha Basu!

The whole country was outraged when Gere pecked Shilpa. But nobody even demanded a penalty kick on the pesky footballer’s butt for trying to score with a helpless girl whose boyfriend was far away, shooting for a film with an ironic title like ‘Goal’.

Poor Bipasha. My heart is filled with sympathy for this girl, who was having enough trouble in life deciding whether she should be single, mingle or plain tingle at all the media attention on her personal life. It’s not fair! I am a big Bipasha fan and I will prove this in a minute by using her filmography to indulge in some irresponsible journalism…

The ‘jism’ generates heat. There is oomph in those smoldering ‘aankhen’. While those on the ‘footpath’ worship her, she sees no ‘gunaah’ in living life her way. So there is no ‘raaz’ about the men in her life. And if she decides to get married to one of them, the others might as well say they were invited to ‘mere yaar ki shaadi’.

And despite all the fuss around her, Bipasha Basu insists that her feet are pretty much on ‘zameen’. But you can’t deny that she causes most men’s hearts to go ‘dhoom’ unless you’ve renounced worldly pleasures and prefer to twirl the ‘rudrakash’ instead!

But why am I writing about her? Well, I am just contributing my bit to the wealth of information being added everyday through a national obsession with Miss Dark Chocolate! So far we know about the men Bipasha has been seen with, the parties she attends, who she goes to gym with and what she eats for lunch.

We know almost everything about her except the names of her forthcoming films! In other words, she is the third most widely covered subject in the media after the UK terror plot followed by the after effects of the Abhi-Ash wedding!

Fortunately, our ubiquitous health minister objected to Shah Rukh Khan smoking a cigarette in ‘Don’ but chose to ignore Bipasha exhorting men to ‘bidi jalailey’!