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ShareYou all know the world famous M&M rap, which when translated from the early Gujarati, goes like this - "Oh where oh where has the IPL gone? Oh where oh where can it be?'
Yup! For the ratio of 87:44 of the Indian population who'd prefer a general IPL tournament to a General Election, this is the question that is most vexing. At the time of writing, a foreign venue has not yet been decided. However, independent research by a leading research company, Nickleodum, has come up with the most pragmatic of possibilities.
Nicaragua: This venue seems to be the most likely host for season II of the IPL located somewhere between China and North America, or on the right side of Japan, (it all depends on which way you are holding the Atlas). Nicaragua is a large warm country with plenty of open spaces and the right weather for playing cricket. Positives are it's a growing economy, has a friendly population and has no chance of being attacked by terrorists primarily because no subcontinental terrorist has ever in the history of terrorism been able to pronounce Nicaragua and most mistake this majestic landscape for veteran political commentator Vinodh Dua.
Surinam: About 25 feet from the West Indies lies the independent country of Surinam. With a population of roughly 257 people (four of whom are bedridden), this sparsely populated land would be an ideal candidate for season II. Positives are it's desperately in need of a boost to the economy. Surinam would welcome the cricket carnival with open palms.
Azad Maidan: Finally, as a last resort the IPL could be held in the confines of South Mumbai's Azad Maidan. Sixteen games can be conducted simultaneously. With fielders from one team fielding for many other teams at the same time - a completely unique feature also since we've only worried about a TV audience - confused spectators would not be a problem. For security purpose the teams could be put up in the various tents peppered around the ground. No terrorist worth his salt would touch a tent, which in any case is his modernised abode - an urban version of the cave.
What's it going to be - Nicaragua, Surinam or Azad Maidan?
