
We all spend New Year day separately. My parents were in Mahableshwar, my wife and kids in Pune, and the rest of the famaily scattered at different corners of the globe.
As I sat alone in a corner of my room wearing one of my wife’s sarees and reading, “Modern Callistenics in three easy sets”. I realised it was time to compile my New Year resolution list. Top of the list, in fact the only thing on it, was the giving up of something extremely dear to me but something at the same time that was damaging to my health.
No, it was not the wife. In fact, the Wisden New Year resolution almanac disbars one from giving up a spouse or relative as a New Year resolution with a simple template that would be the easy way out. In fact I decided to give up something far more personal and far more close to me. I decided to give up wearing underwear. I decided no more underwear, no more underpants and boxers would continue to be what they were in my childhood.
Joe frazier Muhammed Ali or George Foreman to name a few. Just like alcohol drugs or cigarettes, underwear have scientifically been proved to be disastrous for one’s health. They choke the life out of you in a manner of speaking. The tighter ones finish the job faster. The loose ones are likea cancer that eat at you gradually and finally wither away the core of your body. Thus you are left with a head and a thorax, but not much of an abdomen.
That puts you below the insects in the classification list of the animal kingdom. Point to note - insects are prudent enough not to bother about underwear. Underwear is one of the great myths fostered on us by the Victorian era. They are actually completely unnecessary, of no utility value, and can slowly destroy you. Also don’t forget, some of them have pictures of little yellow flowers on them. This year I want everybody to join me in fighting a common enemy. Let’s beat this recession together. Take off your underwear.
