Column

Mr Iyer nodded grimly as General Musharraff announced emergency in Pakistan on TV.

He said he was forced to take control of a nation ravaged by rising militancy, sinking economy and simmering rebellion.

It was easy for the Pak army chief to do that, Mr Iyer said to himself.

The situation in his house wasn't any different from Pakistan and yet there was no provision to declare emergency and clamp down on the freedom of expression of his wife and mother.

They were both the rising militancy and simmering rebellion in the Iyer household and together they were also responsible for the sinking economy that balanced itself on his monthly salary!

His Diwali looked dim as both Mrs Iyer and her mother-in-law were down with severe bronchitis thanks to the economic upswing of their adjacent building, which was being broken down to be redeveloped into a swanky tower complex.

The dust raised by the ongoing deconstruction was not just blocking the nostrils of the two women but also clouding their judgments of normal situations.

For starters, it became a question of who was more sick—the 30-year- old Mrs Iyer or her 65-year-old mother-in-law.

While both had to undergo a blood test, they examined each other's reports more minutely than the doctor.

And when Mrs Iyer told her mother-in-law that her report was clean, the old lady smirked and wondered aloud about her situation being so grave that it didn't even show in her blood report!

It was enough for Mrs Iyer to complain to her husband that his mother didn't seem too happy about her blood test report being fine.

Mr Iyer tried to reason with his wife but then his mother pointed out that his wife wasn't too happy with her bronchitis not getting much importance in the house!

That apart, the economy of his house was fast deteriorating with rising expenditure on food.

With both the ladies refusing to step into the kitchen due to their respective illnesses, the Iyer household has been living on takeaways or parcels from the neighbourhood Udipi restaurant.

Finally, Mr Iyer switched off the TV, deported his mother to his sister's home, banished his wife to her mother, deleted the number of the Udipi restaurant from the speed dial of his phone and marched into the kitchen to make himself a nice lunch.

Thus Musharraff's military misadventure at least inspired one middle-class Mumbaikar!