Column

You are advised suspension of disbelief at what you are going to read now! But unreliable sources insist that what follows in the paragraphs below lie somewhere between fact and fiction…

Abu Salem watched ‘Don’ at a special screening for convicts lodged in Arthur Road jail and soon thereafter consulted his lawyer to understand the twists and turns in the plot. For starters, he wondered whether it was Don – “who is wanted in eleven countries but is not only difficult but impossible to catch” – masquerading as Vijay? Or was it Don and Vijay masquerading as Shah Rukh Khan? In the end, he was convinced that Don should have simply surrendered and kept everyone busy with a long legal trial while he fought an election and became some kind of a Munnabhai MLA! Of course, if you found a duplicate of yourself, it would really help campaigning in Azamgarh without having to venture out of your cell!

But what really bothered Salem was the ending of the film which hinted at a sequel. He couldn’t sleep that night wondering what ‘Don 2’ would be all about. What if Don suffered from Alzheimer’s in the sequel? That would be interesting! His henchmen don’t suspect anything initially when Don not only forgets where he’s kept his glasses but comes for meetings minus his designer suits and only wearing his shoes! But they realise they are in trouble when Don forgets to carry a gun during a gang war and challenges the enemy to a game of basketball!

While Salem was convinced that ‘Don 2’ should be about Don’s battle with Alzheimer’s, he also toyed with the idea of a prequel. He knew he was doing a lot of thinking on behalf of Farhan Akhtar but he couldn’t help imagining a film about Don’s early days in the underworld. It would be nice to see how Don began his career as a gangster by typing out extortion letters to diamond merchants and polishing the weapons before a bank robbery.

But for all his imagination, Salem was absolutely convinced that Don’s chances of a long career in crime and sequels was bright so long as he didn’t get married! After all, let’s not talk about Monica, but look at Stephen Hawking! Even the smartest man in the world with all the answers to any questions about Earth, Time and the Universe, is quite clueless about women!