Column

On his last day in office, we flashback to excerpts from the inaugural speech of US President George Bush eight years ago — to understand, for the last time, what this man was all about.

My name is George W Bush. I was born of two lazy parents. How else does one explain the fact that while I am George Bush, so is my father! But I decided to put ‘W’ in the middle of my name during my teenage days to avoid trouble in my love life. For, when my girlfriends used to call me, my dad would answer the phone. And it wasn’t until he’d say his trademark “READ MY LIPS” that the girls would realise it wasn’t me on the line. I think that was his whole idea of naming me George! As for my mother, I think she just wanted to save time by calling us both together. She thought it would be easier to shout, “Come and have dinner, George.” Or she could cause confusion and get lucky whenever she said: “Wash the dishes, George!”

And finally, I must thank my wife Laura. She gave me twin daughters whom I’d so much difficulty telling apart that I decided to draw a moustache on Jenna’s face so that I knew she wasn’t Barbara. Now I’ve no clue why my wife decided to call one of our daughters Barbara, which is also the name of my mother! I think it speaks volumes about my wife’s relationship with her mother-in-law. For, whenever Laura has a fight with my mother, she calls my daughter and says, “Shut up, Barbara!” All this makes me so bushed (tired) that I’ll now go straight to the Lincoln Bedroom and take a quick nap.