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The time couldn’t have been worse. Nicholas Sarkozy had just reached halfway through the book on his ex-wife Cecilia, when his current heartthrob Carla Bruni got cozy with him on the bed and whispered in his ear, “Main tumhare bachche ki maa banne wali hoon!”The French President gasped, particularly because he’d just finished reading a paragraph that described him as a ‘man who likes no one, not even his children!’

Sarkozy hid the book under the bed, kissed Carla good night and pretended to be fast asleep. A suspicious Carla reached under the bed and pulled out the book.

She flipped through it and gasped when she chanced upon another description of her lover— ‘serial womaniser’, ‘cheap’ and ‘ridiculous’. Carla was in for more shock when she learnt Sarkozy was earlier married to the daughter of a pharmacist for 14 years before the couple separated over the spelling of penicillin.

And then he met Cecilia who was a model and a public relations executive—unlike today when models are public relations executives!

Carla was furious when she realised that Sarkozy’s personal wealth amounted to a mere two million euros. But it didn’t surprise her that most of it was in the form of life insurance policies, considering the guy had so many scorned women wanting to kick his butt!

Carla decided to call it quits. She couldn’t be seen with a guy this cheap. After all, the last two men in her life were millionaires.

Like Donald Trump, whom she left after she realised the hair on his head was a wig! And then there was Mick Jagger, whom she left after she realised Rolling Stones gather no moss—unless it’s called Kate Moss! And before that she’d romanced a father-son duo!

In other words, she was living with Jean-Paul Enthoven but fell for his son who was a philosophy professor married to the daughter of a renowned philosopher.

While the professor’s wife divorced him and wrote a bestseller, Carla herself got tired of being served philosophy for breakfast, lunch and dinner!

The only good thing, which came out of that phase of her life was her acquaintance with two English words that she first mistook for Italian tableware—polygamy and polyandry.

The next morning, Sarkozy woke up and stared at pictures of young Carla and old Cecilia, noticed how similar they looked and wondered if his life had just become a piece of French toast!