The most crippling effect of fear is getting used to fear

There are two emotions that make all animals tick, and by all I mean all animals that are capable of emotion: And those are love and fear. However, there is one emotion that almost all animals feel and that is fear. I wonder if self preservation or the instinct for it is even possible without the most basic element of fear. The wall lizard that runs helter skelter when you come at it with a broom or the lion that roars when cornered.

I am sounding like some psychologist I know but the emotion on which I write is such. So universal, so intensely felt and so difficult to control. And yet the most crippling effect of fear is getting used to fear.

I remember the story of the elephant that I was told. A baby elephant has his leg tied to a chain and it tries to break free but fails. The fear of Captivity makes him go at breaking the chain relentlessly and then finally with his spirits more crushed than his sense of captivity he gives up. When he grows up he does not even try breaking it. He knows it won't break.

The fact is that the power of a grown elephant is more than enough to break the chains. So used to fear he has become that he does not even try!

We are no different from the elephant. So used to living in fear that we are numb to it. We just hang our head down and walk through life, bricks in the wall.

The bomb blasts in our city, we are scared and then we shrug and say way of life and move on. 26/11, a few candle light vigils and then we move on. They call us resilient. I call us the halflings. Half alive, half dead and resigned.

I am one of the halflings hiding behind the veil of helplessness. I am frightened and I make excuses. This is even more true when I want to say something in public space.

I am afraid that I will say something that will anger some outfit somewhere and they won't let me release my film. I am frightened that they will stone the theatres and I am scared that the law and order machinery might be able to do little about it. My frightened brothers, theatre owners, will also feel scared to showcase the film.

So the rule is simple. If you have something to lose, if you have money at stake then be quiet. Be afraid. Very afraid cause someone or anyone can decide to go on a rampage against you.

I want to be independent today. I want to be independent of this fear. I don't want to be a halfling anymore and I look around for help cause I cannot do this myself. To quote Pink Floyd once again, "Is there anybody out there?"