Let's Talk about… love

Every Indian knows that when mother and father love each other very much, two flowers knock repeatedly against each other and that's how babies are born. Love is, after all, our most exploited emotion. It is used to sell us soaps, creams, movies and motorbikes. Shah Rukh has spread-eagled, Alok Nath has cried and people have killed each other on Crime Patrol for love. India's relationship is summed up by Sonakshi Sinha's line in Dabanng "Gusse se darr nahin sahib, pyaar se darr lagta hai"

This fear has manifested itself in many ways. Love Jihad was a oxymoron(ic) term that did the rounds recently. Putting the words "Love" and "Jihad" together which was like putting the worlds "Fat-free" and "alu puri" together. Fat Free Alu Puri just does not exist.

Love Jihad was a term coined during the elections to divide voters along communal lines. It's a theory, with no factual evidence, about Islamists converting women from other faiths through seduction and marriage. Apparently, it is an institutionalised movement where young men sit in seduction classes, and learn how to really woo women, whether it be by giving her flowers or not using the classic pick-up line "Would you like to make a fraanndship with me?" I personally am impressed with the idea of these seduction classes. It's a much-needed education. The only thing left now is to declare Biryani a Jihadi conspiracy, and frankly, take your hands off my biryani!

Last month, yet another coffee shop, this time in Kozhikode was attacked by right-wing groups because it was a venue for "immoral" activities such as hugging and kissing. A Facebook-based group decided to protest with the "Kiss of Love" on the streets roads. People showed up to protest, gawk, make videos and in three cities, the police beat up and jailed people because that's the default reaction to protests in our country. The protests demanded to reclaim public space, the right to express affection and against moral policing. But let's face it, moral is probably the most enthusiastic form of policing our nation knows. Apparently kissing (and most forms of foreplay) are against Indian culture but close-up's of sweaty belly buttons in movies and "OMG Cleavage" on the internet is perfectly in alignment with it. is One banner read "Pyaar karo lekin sanskriti ke anusar." This vaguely defined "sanskriti" could be anything that right-wing groups decide it is that day. If tomorrow, they decide that dressing like Dadima from Comedy Nights With Kapil is the new "sanskriti", then instead of protesting, it is advisable to just get used to wearing gaudy, oversized salwar kameezes. (This applies to women and to men by the way).

The queer community still fights everyday to separate their right to love from an archaic Section 377, that sits in our bedrooms and dictates what you can do with who. Now they know that the only time it is acceptable for a queer individual to do whatever they want inside a closed room is when they have been cast in the next season of Bigg Boss.

Any society that turns love into a boogeyman is not going to have a happy populace. The defence for this demonisation of love always ranges along the lines of "protecting" people- who are consequently seen on the news, scuttling away from every protest while the police and the moral police land blows, slaps and kicks on them. Harming and trampling on someone's rights in order to "protect" them is one of the corner stones of an abusive relationship. That, is not, not "Indian culture" nor is it "love." Maybe the moral police would be better off attacking the REAL culprit behind this: those obscene, knocking flowers doing things that are so against Indian culture.