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DNA Celebrity Column: Doggy style, writes Sajid Khan

Don’t get me wrong, friends. I am as much an animal lover as you are.

DNA Celebrity Column: Doggy style, writes Sajid Khan
Sajid Khan

It’s a dog-eat-dog world. Matbal, kabhi kabhi Tommy chabaos Fido. Acceptable to society. But if Tommy chabaod Vikram or any other human being, it would still be acceptable to society. But, if Vikram or any other human being, after being chabaod in self-defence, gives Tommy a dhulatti on his pichwada, it would be not acceptable to society. Violence and inhuman cruelty to animals, one would say. Chalo, iss pehlu ko ghumake dekhte hain…

Darr ke aage, Shishupal

My padosan Kanta Sharma (Obviously not a real name. To protect her identity, I have changed it from Shanta to Kanta) has a very ferocious Alsatian dog called Shishupal. Most of the time, Shishupal isn’t allowed to be walked in the society. Because when Shishupal walks, others run... for their lives.

Son of a Kanta

Shishupal’s food comes from shopping malls. His lease is more like a designer belt. Now obviously, he is like a son to Kanta, as she is a widow and lives alone. I think, because of her angry and abusive nature, her husband pretended to die and ran away. But she inherited all his money. Isi liye, Shishupal is a spoilt brat.

Iss himmat ki keemat!

Kal ki hi baat hai, the food app delivery guy brought the parcel to Kanta’s house and was waiting near the door, while she went to pay him. Her bill was `984, but she asked the poor guy to give `16 back. When he said, that he didn’t have the change, she started shouting at him, saying, “You guys are crooks!” He started shouting back, “How dare you talk to me like this?”

Kaata! Lagaa!

Hearing this commotion, Shishupal jaagaa aur kutte ki speed pe bhaaga. He leapt in the air and jumped straight on the delivery boy. He started biting him on the hands, face and crotch. Almost ensuring that the delivery boy was just delivery and not a boy anymore. While defending himself, the delivery chacha kicked off Shishupal and ran down the stairs.

The kicker

Shishupal followed and in true doggy-style snapped at his foot again. The poor man had no option this time, but to keep kicking the dog off till he let go. Kanta was screaming and shouting and finally, when Shishupal retreated, Kanta started hitting and abusing the delivery victim. “How dare you kick a harmless animal? I will have you arrested for cruelty to animals. I will call your superiors and sue them. Get out of here.” The poor man bleeding all over, in fear of losing his job, silently left. Now, there were many eye-witnesses who saw the truth. And this matter is going to be brought up in the next members’ meeting.

Don’t get me wrong, friends. I am as much an animal lover as you are. But when an animal goes out of control, what do you do? And how is self-defence cruelty? You be the judge.

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