CELEBRITY COLUMN : Shirish Kunder is the agony uncle you never saw coming

My mother loves my sister more than me

Dear Shirish,
We are two daughters, but I can sense that my mother is extremely partial to my sister. She laughs at all her stupid jokes, but doesn’t laugh at even my best jokes. She praises my sister even when she gets lesser grades than me. Although sometimes she loves me too, but I suspect that my mother loves my sister more than me. How do I find out for sure, which one of us she loves the most?
Anitha

Dear Anitha,
Ask your mother: Which one of you she loves the most? If she says, she loves both of you equally, then it’s definitely not you.

We all look like Sumo wrestlers now!

Dear Shirish,
Our family is famous for its food. So famous that now it’s become a tradition to send food to all our friends and relatives. Everyone loves our food and waits for it. But the flip side of being foodies is that our entire family now looks like Sumo wrestlers. No matter how much we work out, we keep putting on more weight, since our food is so delicious and impossible to resist. Any solutions to lose weight other than working out?
Mrs Foodie

Dear Mrs Foodie,
Fire your present cook. And hire a bad cook.

I’m losing friends because I laugh at them!

Dear Shirish,
I love your tweets because of the way you look at the funny side of everything, no matter how dark or depressing. Just like you, I also like to find humour in everything. But this habit is making me lose friends. Recently my friend fell down, and I couldn’t help but think something funny, and started laughing out loud. She hasn’t talked to me since. I have lost friends earlier also due to similar reasons of finding something funny in other people’s misery and laughing at it. But now this has become a habit and I cannot control myself. Soon, I’ll have no friends. How do you deal with this?
Miss Funny Bones

Dear Miss Funny Bones,
Imagine your friends as your mobile phone. That way if they fall, or something bad happens to them, you will look concerned and not laugh.

Where do you think this country is going?

Dear Shirish,
Our country is not the same anymore. Today, we are being told what to eat, how much to eat, where to drink, what to wear, who to date, when to stand, who is our mother. Where do you think this country is going?
Libtard

Dear Libtard,
This country is going to the cows.

So much ego is not good!

Dear Shirish,
I follow you on Twitter and have tweeted to you many times, but you never reply. I’ve noticed that so many people tweet to you, but you never reply to anyone. So much ego is not good. What do you think of yourself?
Self-Respecting Fan

Dear Self-respecting Fan,
People pray to God all the time. Does he ever reply to anyone?