Shirish Kunder plays agony aunt and solves all your big and small problems

Respect of Friends

Dear Shirish,

I am a very friendly guy and always like to be in the company of friends. I love my friends and cannot live without them. But none of my friends ever respect me. I tried changing my friend circle a couple of times, but it’s the same story. None of my friends ever respect me. I don’t know why. I am good-looking, intelligent, and doing reasonably well in my career. How do I find friends who respect me?
—Mushtaq

Dear Mushtaq,
Have short friends. They will always look up to you.

CURE FOR INSOMNIA

Dear Shirish,

It may sound cliched, but bhagwan ka diya sab kuch hai mere paas. I come from a very rich family and never had to work a day in my life. I have beautiful houses all over the country, swanky cars, a private boat, a gorgeous wife, servants, and everything that most people can only dream of. But I have one problem: I have insomnia. I just cannot sleep at night. Doctors have given me sleeping pills. It helps me sleep, but I know it’s not advisable to use them for a long period. Can you suggest some natural way to get a good night’s sleep without taking any medication?
—Jhunjhunwala

Dear Jhunjhunwala,
Do some work in the day.

WHO TO NEVER TRUST

Dear Shirish,

I have had very bad experiences with people. People I have trusted implicitly have bitched about me and backstabbed me. As a result, I have lost trust in people, become a loner, and started staying away from socialising. But all that has now started affecting my work. Getting business is getting difficult without socialising. But at the same time, I cannot get myself to trust people anymore. Is there any way to figure out what kind of people to never trust?
—Manisha

Dear Manisha,
Never trust a man who laughs too much and a woman who cries too much.

WAY TO A MAN’S HEART

Dear Shirish,

I am a little on the plump side and don’t yet have a boyfriend. All my friends have boyfriends, and I also want to have one. I heard that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. But I cannot cook to save my life. So I joined a cooking class. But it was too boring, so I quit. Is there any other way to a man’s heart?
—Mallika

Dear Mallika,
That’s the long cut. The shortcut is to look hot. Join a gym.