DNA After Hrs Celebrity Column: Jokes Inc. Part 2, writes Sajid Khan

I observe people. Their mannerisms, speaking styles, and characteristics. I observe human behaviour; some good, most bad. Putting down some observations I’ve had recently... presenting: Jokes Inc. Part 2.

A friend’s friend attempted suicide recently. He jumped off the third floor, but nothing happened. He fell on the watchman and killed him! 

A co-passenger on a flight told me he’s into charity. He said to me, “Can I have a word for the homeless?” I replied, “Lazy”! 

Long-term relationships can be quite funny. A couple I know recently ended their seven-year relationship. When I asked her why, she said, “He started using my toothbrush.” I replied, “That is sweet and intimate. How could you leave him just because he was using your toothbrush to brush his teeth?” She angrily replied, “He wasn’t brushing his teeth; he was using it to scrape the dog poo from his shoes!” Which reminds me of a fun fact. Did you know people can go blind with dog poo? But it’s much cleaner and easier to use your finger. Jab, jab, jab! 

It’s a very bad thing when you’re told that you’re adopted. But not half as bad as being told that you’re going to be adopted! 

Did you know? If your ears are burning, it means people around are talking about you. Generally, they’re saying, “He’s on fire!”

I’m 45. You know what that means? It means the only way I get to be described as young now is if I die! 

You know you’re getting old when you’re watching porn and start admiring the locations! 

The worst thing about being told you’ve got Alzheimer’s is it doesn’t happen once! I’ll be telling that joke again later on. If I remember. 

A lot of people fight the ageing process by using anti-wrinkle creams. My question to them is if it really works, how come you’ve still got fingerprints?

It’s been scientifically proved why all men love breasts. 

Because prehistoric men...loved breasts! 

Goodbye, now, free mein itna hi milega! See ya next Wednesday.