Celebrity column: The umpire building, writes Ayushmann Khurrana

We played seven-over matches in between shots while shooting for Shubh Mangal Saavdhan. The last India-Australia match in Ranchi was a shorter version of that. Sigh. The cricket fan in me wanted a full match, but the end result of India winning by nine wickets made me happy and that prompted me to write on cricket again. And this time it’s on umpires, who are like the closest spectators in a cricket stadium. Unbiased... well, most of the times. First-hand accountants. Closest to the action. In fact, they are in the middle of the action. They also have the liberty to wear formal black pants, that too, in the middle of a play ground. They are like those class monitors, who control the discipline on field. They should ideally be invisible during match proceedings. If they get attention, it’s not good for the game.

When I was a teenager, my brother and I used to play cricket almost every day even under the harshest sun during summer vacations. Those were the times in gully and district-level cricket when one of the umpires used to be a legit player from the side that was batting, and the fairness of the decision was totally left on the conscience of the player. It was hard to be an umpire in such a situation. If you were fair, your teammates hated you and if you showed bias towards your team then the opposition wanted to kill you. It was a tricky one. But as a cricket lover, I found it the most fascinating part of the game.

Watching the match proceedings of an international game from the closest quarters with the best cricketers in the world begging for your decisions. But umpires are not handsomely paid. It’s a job that’s one chooses because of one’s passion for the game. The umpires from the elite panel get 1,00,000 dollars a year, which is nothing when compared to the hard work they put in for a single game. It’s a responsible task. You’ve to be knowledgeable and well-versed with the ICC rule book. There have been a lot of controversies around umpires. Like a certain Steve Buckner bore the brunt of our nation’s displeasure during the Gavaskar-Border trophy of 2007-08. Such is the might of the BCCI that it managed to remove Buckner in the middle of the series. This was an aberration. He was a decent umpire overall.

We’ve had other amazing umpires — like my personal favourite Simon Taufel. He was just 27 when he umpired in his first international match. He’s a failed pacer, who had to retire prematurely due to a back injury. His calmness and gentlemanly attitude was hugely acknowledged. He’s also one of the youngest to retire from umpiring, due to family issues, though he’s still a serving the game as an ICC executive.

Then there was the most-revered Dickie Bird. His career spanned 23 years and when he retired he got the ‘guard of honour’ from cricketers from India and England at the Lords in 1996. One of the most affable umpires during his time was a certain David Shepherd, who was widely known for his posture of standing on one leg whenever a team reached a score of 111 or its multiples.

Then there was Darrell Hair, who was known as controversy’s child. At times, it seemed he had a problem with the subcontinental teams. A lot of bad LBW calls in 1992 against India. He called Sri Lanka’s Muralitharan a chucker and rubbed Inzi’s Pakistani team the wrong way in 2006. On the other hand, Pakistan’s Aleem Dar has been one of the cleanest umpires in the history of world cricket. 

India is known as the superpower of cricket in this era, but there has been only one Indian umpire who has got a lot of respect from the rest of the world, and that’s Srinivas Venkataraghavan. He started a bit late, but was known for his quick decision making and analytical mind. He was conferred with Padma Shri in 2003.

What about the real-life umpires — when spouses fight, their parents act as umpires, or a traffic policeman becomes one trying to solve a road accident issue between two parties. Right decision at the right time, and being fair is life. Life is all about correct umpiring.

“I get what I desire, it’s my empire and yes I call the shots. I’m the umpire.” — Nicki Minaj