Celebrity Column | Just say no, writes Shweta Bachchan Nanda

No! It’s a word most people have a very difficult relationship with. Surprising, considering its repeated reinforcement in our youth… 

“If a stranger offers you sweeties, say NO!” 
“If an adult other than a family member wants to give you a ride, say NO!” 
“Just say NO to____ (add intoxicant of choice)”

“If a boy wants to go all the way and you’re not comfortable, say NO!” You get my drift? One would think saying no would be the easiest response. However, most people have a very hard time using the word; even if it means inconveniencing or extending themselves when they’d rather not. Why are we so caught up with not giving offence when compliance means offending our own peace of mind? 

I know you think we are close because you follow me on Instagram and are privy to some of my life experiences. I may even have liked a picture or two of yours. Does that mean I want to be added to your group chat and get updates of you on holiday in Bora Bora in the middle of my night? No! Yet, how many of us do end up in just this kind of situation because we are unable to say NO! A friend, after bellyaching for days, ended up attending the wedding of a cousin of a girl she once went to school with, and had reconnected with after more than two decades on Facebook! It seems like everyone is stretching themselves too thin and then crashing out in their 40s. It is madness to live your life ostensibly on someone else’s terms. The other day, I came across an article on Warren Buffet’s 10 life lessons that aren’t investment related, and even he says, “Very successful people say no to almost everything.” 

The problem with saying yes, when you really want to say no, is it builds expectation. Expectation that you’re available to be prevailed upon and well, expectation in your head that people, who ask you to things you’d rather not go to or do, like, carry back a container of pungent Blue Cheese for example, would do the same for you. In this vicious cycle of favour begets favour, you just never manage to make enough time to do what you really feel like doing. Which leads to you having to book some ‘me’ time at a debilitatingly priced spa somewhere missing out on your niece’s milestone birthday! Then having to find place in your bag for the aromatherapy oils you’ve had to carry back for the people on the group chat that you never wanted to be a part of in the first place. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to champion impolite and egotistical behaviour. We are, after all, social creatures and a little bit of pleasing the “pack” is required. Life is short, try and make it sweet. 

NB — Never ever, not even if you have to give up front row seats to that once in a lifetime Beyoncé concert, say NO to anything your mother asks of you. Or for that matter, use this column as your reason for saying it. Life is short; don’t make it shorter. I’m pretty sure even Mr Buffet would agree.