Anita Pujari

Why did the moron stand with a bread slice at the crossing? He was waiting for the traffic jam. I don’t giggle anymore at such PJs now that I have grown up. Ahem! But this one’s been buzzing in my mind of late. What if I could get myself a jam sandwich on that 3 hour commute home?? Any sandwich would do. Actually anything that would keep the tummy from rumbling so loud that occasionally the neighbors (in the cars next to mine) look up in deep empathy, would do.

Sandwiched in a sea of cars and other ‘car’riage mutations we the polluted polluter, dreary eyed, weary bottomed daily Mumbai commuter have little going in life. Life moves at a snail’s pace, mostly on 1^st gear be it the new Mahindra XUV 500 , my red I10 or your BMW or what-have-you. I spend 3-4 hours of my life on the road commute to work (every day). That gives me ample time to think up bizarre possibilities.

Picture this. You have hit the road after work and crawled successfully over the 2^nd of the 5 flyovers you must cross (every day). The moon had been hovering around in the sun’s shadow when you had left home at dawn but is sitting atop in full regalia as you left office. Time is transient you tell yourself. If you are car pooling you may discuss this threadbare (every day). You run out of energy sooner than later. Energy to talk or stay silent. You look left and right and ahead and generally see what you have been seeing (everyday) – Mumbai’s prime road space choked and blocked as far as eyes can see. Suddenly there is action.A cheerful cherubic 50+ is distributing leaflets. The open windows need no permission but seeing the surprised delight on the face of the commuters within many start rolling down the glass and extending their hands for the leaflets. It is a menu card! Top of the offering – jam sandwiches. Also a choice of cheese, butter, aloo tikki, paneer manchurian or plain salad leaves with a choice to be sandwiched in whole wheat/multi-grained/brown/white bread. Accompanying beverage choice - Cola, Diet Cola and milkshake (Aarey’s Energy drink). A checkbox against each item lends itself to a quick tick mark and provided at the bottom of the leaflet two slots – one for your Vehicle number and the second for your Mobile number. The cherubic 50 year old is coming back and asking cheerfully for your order. If you are not ready with yours, you hurriedly pull out your pen or beg/borrow one, fill up the leaflet at breakneck speed and actually run out of your car to give it to him. Pandemonium! Commuters are leaning over talking excitedly into each other’s cars. When did this start? Who is this genius? What an idea sirjee! The excitement is a spiraling tornado. The car starts moving. Everyone else’s too. Some anxiety builds. What happens to my sandwich? 10 feet roll and all grind to a halt again. Everyone’s craning their necks to see if the cheerful cherubic order taker can be spotted. Lo & behold! 4 uniformed waiters are serving the orders carried aloft a BIG tray. A quick call on the mobile, GPRS tracking and delivery. Matching of vehicle number, sign taken on leaflet, payment collected, deal closed with a smiling handshake.

Any takers?

All one needs is a spirit of bizarre entrepreneurship perhaps. There are enough bellies with fire in them on the Mumbai commute. Return On Investment on this mobile pantry car is a given.