Etiquette for Modern Times (Everyday situations that get our knickers in a twist…)

How do you introduce a married gay couple at an official sit-down dinner to the other guests who’re straight?

Do you share your email password with the man whose bed you’re currently sharing?

How do you respond to someone who insists on forwarding you jokes you really don’t find funny on the email?

When you’ve stopped at a Mumbai traffic light and find that the car next to you contains your ex-husband and his new girlfriend –what’s the best way of showing your cool- without appearing rude?

What happens when you’re in a serious committed relationship and one of your girlfriend’s is eyeing an ex –BF of yours –and you still fancy him a little and have been saving him up for a rainy day… you know… just in case?

How do you tell someone that when you SMS them a warm cuddly message-they’re supposed to SMS back –and NOT pick up the phone and call you right away-because that’s invading your space?

What about people who email and SMS in CAPITALS LIKE THIS-DON’T THEY KNOW IT’S CONSIDERED AKIN TO SHOUTING IN THE CYBER WORLD?

What do you do when your gauche colleague attempts to ingratiate themselves with you by making fun of people’s pretensions –when you see that as a form of pretension too.

How do you respond when in a group of people from all religions some one goes on and on about the majority religion and its unparalleled virtues?

How do you act when some one hands you a gift on Diwali which you gave them the last Diwali?

What do you do when there’s a MTF (Must Touch Flesh) colleague of yours who insists on greeting you with a handshake EVERY time you pass him on the corridor?

How do you behave when you go out in a group to a Chinese/ Japanese restaurant and you realize your boss doesn’t know how to eat with chopsticks? Do you abandon yours? If you attempt to teach him will it look patronizing? Will you still have your job at the end of it?

How do you respond to people who want to make friends and influence people the minute the seat belt signs are off on a Mumbai-Delhi flight-without appearing rude?

If you have any answers to the above gentle reader-you know where to post them….