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Child abuse: Look out for the danger signs

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Dr. Sylvia Karpagam is a public health doctor working with urban marginalised communities. She is also a public health systems researcher.

Child sexual abuse is one of the most heinous crimes in our society because it violates the natural trust that a child reposes in adults in his or her life. Sexual abuse of a child can happen at home, on the streets, in a shelter, at a police station, on buses, in schools, churches, temples, madrassas, playgrounds, hospitals and at friends' places. This technically means that one cannot 'protect' a child by providing them safe spaces.

Child sexual abuse is when adults use their dominant position to force or coerce a child into sexual activity ranging from pursuing, stalking, touching, showing pornographic material, sexually explicit talk, making the child touch genitals, masturbation and involving the child in pornography.

Children need to be prepared to identify and react against sexual abuse. Parents very often force children to go out with 'uncles' and 'aunties' who the children are clearly uncomfortable with. Parents have to pick up these danger signs and be on the constant vigil. While there is no need to make a child so paranoid that he or she is fearful of any stranger and any kind of touch, the child needs to know that it is not okay for any adult to touch him or her in ways that make them uncomfortable. 

The child often does not have a trustworthy adult to confide in and in many cases, is asked to keep quiet when they complain about sexual abuse. Any such disclosure by the child has to be taken seriously. The child can never be blamed for being sexually abused. Often one hears parents telling the child "Where did you learn to talk like this, you naughty child?" or "You naughty child, this is why I told you not to do (X/Y/Z). If you don't listen to me, this is what will happen".

It pushes the child into a dark lonely world of not being able to speak about abuse. The response of the child could range from shame, guilt, fear, being violent, withdrawing, and other physical symptoms such as excessive crying, vomiting, feeding problems, bowel and sleep disturbances, fear of particular persons or places, masturbation, poor school performance.

In the event that a child has been abused, there are several legal recourses one can take to bring the perpetrator to book. Sometimes the decision has to be made about adults who are quite significant in the family. Parents have to understand that protecting the right of their child to a life of dignity takes precedence above all other emotional, physical or material considerations.

The Child Rights Commission in Karnataka is pathetically unresponsive. The education department is insensitive and often blames the victims of child abuse and their families. There is an entire structure within schools and society that overlooks child abuse and thereby normalises it. One would do well to demand that all schools in your area have a sexual harassment committee and that ALL children (both in and out of school) have received some form of training to identify and respond to abuse. Functioning help-lines have to be displayed everywhere.

When upper caste/class children are raped or sexually assaulted, the response from the elite and middle class is consistently more than that for children of domestic workers, construction workers, vegetable vendors etc. When our children in streets, government schools and orphanages are exposed to abuse and we do nothing about it, we make our own children vulnerable because we sanction child sexual abuse and rape by our silence. Therefore one cannot just protect one's own children by creating personal safe spaces. Unless we respond to every case of child sexual abuse, we cannot realistically protect our own children.

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