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Let’s hang out, suggests my young friend Samantha, and I must confess, some time ago, the phrase, ‘hanging out’ would have left me flummoxed. Did she mean she wanted to come over, have a meal or go shopping with me? It could be all or none, she once said by way of explanation, which baffled me further.

Of course, I have since realised that ‘to hang out’ is the new hip lingo that means ‘spend time socially’ or ‘relax idly’. In other words, you could hang out at a mall, hang out at the movies, hang out online or go to a popular hangout and then …hang out. I guess, I’ve finally figured out the phrase, but I haven’t been convinced enough to try it out. That is, till now.

I’ve just discovered that people you ‘hang out’ with don’t automatically become your friends. Alternatively, anyone who wants to hang out with you is not offering you an arm of friendship.

So, who is a friend and who isn’t, I ask Samantha. She can’t think of any answer. In any case, she’s too busy texting another friend whom she hopes to hang out with, since I am too busy researching the phrase than actually hanging out.

As I ponder over the matter further, I come across Oprah Winfrey’s advice on the five kinds of friends we need in life. According to her, you need five types of pals: 1. The Uplifter (who is always there to cheer you on) 2. The Travel Buddy (the flexible friend, ready for any kind of adventure), 3. The Truth Teller (the buddy who can criticise you lovingly), 4. The Fun Friend (for spontaneous good times) and the Unlikely Pal (a friend who is older, younger or from a different social background), who will help you see life from a totally new perspective.

According to sociologists, making good friends is like making a great investment. You spend your resources of time and emotions on the right people and you in turn, find your life enriched too. There is also interesting new research which indicates that a strong friendship helps fight depression, slows ageing and prolongs life.

With such a case for friendship laid out before me, I invite my old time friend and mentor, Aditi to a coffee house for some new insights on the subject. As we pour blueberry preserve and golden honey over freshly baked waffles, we discuss the current outlook on friendships.

“People often think that they have to choose friends who are exactly like them,” she says. “But you need variety and balance even in friendships. If you have a very young friend, for instance, this will help you think differently and get a fresh take on every subject. A spiritual friend will give you a deeper insight into a problem. A fun loving friend could help you laugh, even at yourself.”

But isn’t it enough just to ‘hang out’? I ask, rather happy to use the phrase, so easily now.
“No,” she says. “You can’t just keep doing things together and hanging out. You have to take any friendship consciously to a new level.”

As soon as I reach home, I phone Samantha to give her an update of my research, but her line is busy. Soon I get a text message from her instead, which says… “Guess what, I’ve just got myself a BFF. She gives me TMI, but that’s okay.”

I have no idea what she’s talking about but I’m not going to let her know.

It will take me a while to understand the BFF (Best Friends Forever) trend which she’s now talking about and the TMI (too much information) problem that’s the not-so-nice part of having a BFF...but I’ll get there eventually.

Why is it, that just when I’ve learnt something new, there’s always something else just around the corner?