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ShareThe Ides of March are here and so are the examinations.
There is a fine dividing line between motivating to excel and pressurising to perform. Ask any parent with school or college going children and you will find that almost every one has trod this line with trepidation.
As a parent of a child who gave her boards last year and appeared for competitive examinations, I can fully understand the dilemma that has risen from present-day competition.
What is it that drives a parent to expect a lot from his child? And, on the flip side of the coin, push a child beyond his limits, often making him fear the outcome as so many result-centric suicides or accidental deaths at the time have tragically shown? Are we as a society subconsciously living out our dreams through our kids? Are we setting unrealistic goals for minds that have not yet fully matured? Or are our kids, in an age of instant gratification, wanting the moon in a jiffy?
Paediatrician Dr Ajit Gajendragadkar feels it is all this and much more. "All of us want our children to do better than we did," he says. "In the age of swiftly multiplying incomes, we would like them to get the cutting edge in life. And if you are offering them multiple avenues of not just fine-tuning their talents but of relaxing as well, there is an underlying if not vocalised expectation that it is their duty to perform in return."
In the run up to and at the time of examinations - and then subsequently when results are declared - expectations may be vocally expressed or they may be subtly insinuated through a parent's behaviour. Either which way the child is quick to pick up the undercurrents.
Sensitive parents hope that they have been convincing enough in their attempts to tell their kids that no matter what, numbers are not the end of the world and that they should take their exams and results with a smile. But, when each child - and each parent knows - that the future is at stake on the numbers that the computer throws up with relentless swiftness at the appointed time, the tension is bound to build up from the time a child prepares for and gives the exam till the D-day on which results are declared.
No amount of distractions can relieve the pressure of this period. And it is there, Dr Ajit feels that parents need to stand by their child. For success or failure in the ultimate sense, though measured, is relative. "Do all parents have the maturity to realise this?" he asks. "A nervous child needs to be given positive reinforcement and if one paper goes badly, so be it. Look forward to the next without doing a post-mortem."
True indeed, but in the whirligig of examinations and results, the pressure continues to mount. And familial relationships get stretched, sometimes tragically to the point of no return.
