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ShareThree decades ago, I failed in one subject in a school examination. My father was angry and turned the house upside down. He asked my mother to tell me how many of his acquaintances' sons had passed with good marks.My mother handed me a chocolate. I was flummoxed and wondered if I was being ridiculed?
She said, "This chocolate is in recognition of the fact that I know you aren't inferior to those who've scored well." She added, "Your father doesn't seem to recognise that. Now show him that you're the best," she said, wiping my tears. Thatcomforted me. Four months later, I came second in the final exams.
Humiliation and odious comparisons with your counterparts can never help you set higher goals and achieve them. Disgrace is a common weapon for many parents at home and bosses at the workplace. Perhaps they think doing so fuels enthusiasm and helps people perform better. That is an erroneous perception.
At the workplace, what berating does is promote depression, low self-esteem, and even plummet performance. As an editor with Dainik Bhaskar, I've studiously followed my mother's idea of inspiring healthy competition. I once had two pages before me: The one produced by a cub sub-editor was riddled with mistakes while another by a senior colleague was an epitome of perfection.
"Do you know what's the difference between the two pages?" I asked the sub-editor, much to the chagrin of the churlish news editor who had taken a dislike to the young sub-editor. "Your friend has attained near perfection, while you're knocking at the door. Now, it's for you to compare the two pages, and see how you could better your friend."
A year later, the young sub got a better salary increment than his senior colleague. I'm sure you agree that any competition is focussed on outcome. To that end, motivation is required, which in turn bolsters healthy competition. I believe parents, coaches and bosses are the people who can ensure that healthy competition flourishes.
N Raghuraman is an editor with DNA
