'Faking News:' TV drive to unite Congress, BJP

After Union home minister Sushilkumar Shinde accused the BJP of running terror camps in cahoots with the RSS – a remark that was backed by many Congress leaders such as Digvijay Singh and Mani Shankar Aiyar  – many media organisations have been thinking of launching a “peace campaign” between the Congress and the BJP.

“Brokering peace between India and Pakistan is a passé now,” a senior marketing manager at one of India’s leading newspapers told Faking News. “In fact, there is no room to do anything innovative as there are hardly any problems to be solved, except Kashmir that no one wants to talk about.”

“Pakistani artistes get visa more easily than Indians can get their passports renewed. Cricket matches between the two nations are back. Indian and Pakistani people interact freely on Twitter and Facebook. It’s all so good! Frankly a peace campaign is not needed,” the manager explained.
The manager claimed that a potential peace campaign between the Congress and the BJP was a better “business idea” than a peace campaign between India and Pakistan.

“The ‘Foreign Hand’, which de-facto meant ‘Pakistani Hand’, has been replaced by ‘RSS Hand’ for some years now — I guess for as many years ever since Google search volumes for ‘Digvijay Singh’ went up — and it means that the new enemy is BJP/RSS and not Pakistan,” the manager further explained.

Many other marketing managers and advertising professionals agreed that a peace campaign between the Congress and the BJP was really a good idea. “We are already working on a few ideas to be implemented as part of this campaign,” revealed a copywriter with an advertising firm.

Sources say that advertising and event management firms were already drawing parallels between India-Pakistan peace campaigns and a theoretical Congress-BJP one, and trying to come up with fresh ideas.

Unconfirmed reports suggest that both the parties were told to come up with a list of in-house artists who could represent either sides at events, but the parties could only come up with names of a few journalists, who are not considered as “artists” by general public.

As a result, professionals are trying to come up with new ideas that they could suggest to both the parties. “Cross-cultural exchanges are perhaps meaningless,” an event manager opined. “Both parties have almost the same culture and there won’t be much fun. Unless of course they throw seminar chairs at each other, which will make wonderful TV event!”

“We don’t need people-to-people contact initiatives as well because Congress and BJP supporters are not geographically separated as India and Pakistan,” he tried to find new ideas. “Guess we can make their corrupt leaders, separated geographically by being locked up in different jails, meet each other. That could be a good starting point.”