Rahul Roushan: After sorting 2G note mess, govt to now close 2G scam also for good

After the controversial 2G note matter was closed in a 10-minute press briefing on Thursday, the government has decided to close the larger matter of the 2G scam itself and put a conclusive end to the whole affair.

After consulting various ministers and advisors, the UPA government announced it will officially close the 2G spectrum scam matter on Dussehra, which is less than a week away.

"The views expressed by the CAG in the report are not his own,” said Union Minister Kapil Sibal, explaining why the government thought the matter should be closed.

“Recent reports have suggested that initially an internal audit by the CAG had put the notional loss in the 2G spectrum allocation case to a much lower figure, which was overturned by the CAG headquarters,” Sibal explained. “This clearly shows that the CAG report doesn’t reflect the views of the CAG as an institution, much like the 2G note did not reflect the views of the government.”

Drawing parallels between the 2G note and the CAG report, Sibal further said that both the documents were just ‘routine’ communication between various government agencies, which were misreported widely by the media and misinterpreted by the public.

“Fortunately, under the able guidance of Madam Gandhi, we could close the matter about the 2G note,” he said. “And now it is the turn of the CAG report, a matter that will be closed for good on the auspicious day of Dussehra.”

Sibal refused to divulge the details on how the government intends to close the matter, but sources say that the process might not take more than 10 minutes, as was the case with closure of the controversy arising out the 2G note.

"I think they are going to make a Raavan effigy out of the CAG report on Dusshera and Rahul Gandhi, acting as Lord Rama, will burn down the effigy with a burning arrow made out of the CBI charge-sheet,” Ravindra Chaudhary, an expert visualised the closure of the 2G spectrum allocation scam.

On being asked why he thinks the Congress could take the help of religious symbols, which almost makes it appear like the BJP, Ravindra said, “Congress has been claiming that they just followed the policy of the BJP government in the 2G spectrum allocation, so I guess they’d do the same even while closing this matter.”

However, the Congress has rejected such visualisations as figments of imagination of a few people and has blamed the BJP for spreading misinformation.

“All I want to say right now is that there was no scam. There was no loss and no rules were broken,” Sibal reiterated. “I am happy that the matter will be closed.”

Rahul Roushan thinks he can make some sense through nonsense. He attempts the same through his news satire website www.fakingnews.com