TMC, Left workers separated at berth

Railway Minister Mukul Roy has announced a new feature in train ticket booking that will prevent a Trinamool Congress worker from being allotted a berth next to a Communist Party of India-Marxist supporter. The feature will be introduced in beta stage first on the IRCTC website next week, and would soon be implemented on all ticket counters of the Indian Railways.

“We have to make sure that an aam aadmi, especially a Trinamool Congress supporter, doesn’t end up befriending a communist during a train journey,” the railway minister said, explaining the rationale behind the decision.

Earlier, the Trinamool Congress had called for a social boycott of CPI-M supporters. The party had asked its members not to marry into families supporting the CPI-M, in fact, not even be friends with a communist.

Following this instruction, Trinamool MP and former TV quizmaster Derek O’Brien had declared, during an interview on a national television news channel, that he would not sit next to an MP belonging to the Left parties in Parliament.

Sources say that Roy heard the statement on TV and decided to extend the logic to seating arrangements in the railways.
“There is a race among Trinamool MPs to impress Mamata Di, maybe with the exception of Dinesh Trivedi,” a source said. “The decision of Mukul Roy has to be seen in this light.”

After consulting party members and software experts, Roy is believed to have ordered changes in the IRCTC website. Now a person would be asked to fill up his political affiliation while booking a train ticket.

“Just like currently they ask you to indicate your food preferences in terms of ‘veg’ or ‘non-veg’ while booking a Rajdhani or Shatabdi ticket, you will be asked about your political preference in terms of ‘left’ or ‘non-left’ while booking tickets in any reserved class,” a source informed.

Passengers with left leanings will be allotted berths together, and it would be made sure that no one with non-left political leanings gets to sit next to a left leaning passenger.

“The same rule will apply in cases of ticket upgrade or RAC (reservation against cancellation). In fact, people won’t be allowed to exchange berths if the action ends up putting a communist next to a non-communist,” Mukul Roy, said, explaining the benefits of the new feature.

When asked why he was assuming that every non-communist would like to avoid contact with a communist, the railway minister said it was a decision that couldn’t be rolled back.

“Didi approves it, and this is for the aam aadmi’s better future and welfare,” he said.

For the unreserved class, a special coach for communists, with 24 berths and without any toilet or basic amenities like fans, could be attached to trains, unconfirmed sources tell Faking News.
(Disclaimer: The above ‘news report’ is completely fake and false and is NOT aimed at making fun of Mamata Banerjee, the Hon’ble chief minister of West Bengal. If it hurts any sentiments, especially of non-communists, the author and the newspaper tenders an unconditional apology. Also, we hate cartoons.)

Rahul Roushan thinks he can make some sense through nonsense. He attempts the same through his news satire website www.fakingnews.com