Rahul Roushan: Meira Kumar opposes iPads, demands silencers for MPs

Lok Sabha Speaker Meira Kumar is reportedly not too excited about MPs being given iPads or other high end tablets to make parliamentary proceedings paper-free; she has demanded ‘silencers’ for MPs instead.

“Paper is not any hindrance or problem, and waste paper like unread copies of the Union budget speech can be recycled,” Kumar is supposed to have argued with the parliamentary committee that had sanctioned Rs50,000 for each MP to buy a tablet.

The Lok Sabha speaker further expressed concerns that the honorable members could download tablet applications like ‘Air Horn’ that is used to make noisy sounds like a siren or vuvuzela, and disturb parliamentary proceedings whenever they disagree with a point being made.

“These tablets are not going to cure my headache,” Kumar had complained to the committee and asked them to drop plans of giving high-end communication gadgets to the MPs.

Kumar, who is often heard saying “baith jaaiye, shaant ho jaaiye” (please sit down, please keep quiet), has requested the parliamentary affairs minister to find out if ‘silencers’ could be given to the MPs during parliamentary proceedings.

“Some gadget that could be made compulsory for each MP to wear whenever he or she enters the parliamentary premises,” Kumar proposed.

“They could be shaped like a helmet or gas-mask but could make the area around the mouth air-tight,” she explained her vision of the urgently required gadget for the MPs. “There would be provision allowing them to breathe by letting fresh air go in, but I should have the control to stop the air from vocal chords from coming out.”

Although ‘human silencers’ are not currently available for use by the masses, experts believe that a modified version of what astronauts wear when going into outer space could be designed for the MPs to make parliamentary proceedings smoother and more meaningful.

“It could cost more than a tablet, but I guess the results would be to the effect as desired by Madam Speaker,” an expert argued and claimed that Meira Kumar’s suggestion could be implemented if there was enough political will.

Meanwhile unconfirmed reports suggest that China has already produced around thousand cheap iPads and is planning to flood markets in New Delhi around the Parliament.

“They are even offering fake bills to the extent of Rs50,000,” a man dealing with fake Chinese goods claimed.

— Rahul Roushan thinks he can make some sense through nonsense. He attempts the same through his news satire website www.fakingnews.com