From 'Cold Chennai' to freezing Canada

In Chennai, when the temperature drops below 20oC, people bring out sweaters infested with moths that have since mutated to acquire mothball resistance. They also unleash monkey caps and, of late, ear mufflers with leopard prints. This sartorial statement from the Indian city that has the most ‘knowledgeable crowd’ (we applauded Wasim Akram’s men when they beat India at Chepauk in ‘99 and did not throw water bottles at them) is testimony to the fact that we simply cannot deal with cold temperatures. Some people even wear sweaters to large IT offices that are centrally air-conditioned (at 25oC) so when I found myself in the 50oN latitude city of Winnipeg in the province of Manitoba, Canada, I was well prepared, or so I thought.

Buying winter clothing in Chennai is a bit like buying idlis in Srinagar. Most woolen clothes for Chennai are designed keeping in mind that the wearer could possibly suffocate, itch or bake to death when the sun suddenly decides to put in an appearance. So most cold weather clothing here is quite notional. The protection is more psychological and less thermodynamic in nature.

But having lived all over India, and for quite a bit in the US (albeit the warm south), I was used to temperatures in the 5-10oC range. In fact, I enjoy that sort of climate.

It’s always nice to be able to lend one’s sweater to accompanying pulchritude that’s feeling a bit chilly at the moment and earn brownie points in the process. Even if men don’t learn how to be sensitive, caring and attentive towards women, this is an easy win. But we digress.

I landed in Winnipeg, switched my phone on and the Android weather app casually informed me that the temperature outside was -14oC. You know that feeling when numbers reach a point where one doesn’t really understand their magnitude or import?

That’s the feeling I had when I walked out wearing jeans, a tee and a light sweater into the waiting cab, whose Sikh driver already had a ‘Mar gaya saala’ smirk on his face.

You see, the world feels all hunky dory till about 1oC. It’s a bit nippy but some brisk walking and building up ones heartbeat is enough to get rid of any discomfort. But as the temperature inches away even a little below zero, the effect is quite like walking on solid ground and suddenly taking a step into the Grand Canyon.

The body begins to do strange things at the temperature at which water freezes, and since we’re mostly water, the effect is quite palpable.

The cab driver took pity on my poor freezing Chennai conditioned body and quickly hauled my luggage (as my hands had stopped taking orders from my brain) into the boot and turned on his heater to full blast as he turned back and said, ‘Welcome to Knayda.’

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