Why do we forget to honour our dead?

Amsterdam, the capital of The Netherlands, is one of the most picturesque cities in Europe. The city is known for its rich architecture, including churches and palaces built over the last few centuries, and its colourful Art Deco constructions that make for such pretty postcards. Amsterdam is also the home to museums – the Rijksmuseum is a fabulous collection of classical European Art, and contains the works of many masters, including Rembrandt. There is also the Van Gogh Museum which is the largest collection of the work of the eccentric artist. Amidst the celebration of all this history and art, culture and prowess, there exists one more museum — a place that marks one of the dark points of European and Dutch history – and that is the Anne Frank House.

Anne Frank and her family were Jewish, and during the Nazi occupation of The Netherlands, they hid in this house for two years, before they were betrayed and sent to concentration camps. Although many of the Dutch were sympathetic towards Jews, there were quite a few who were anti-semitic and went along with the Nazi policy of deporting Jews to the concentration camps. Anti-semitism was an ugly part of European history as was Nazism and the collaboration of ordinary Europeans with ordinary Germans (who were members of the Nazi Party) to send millions to the gas chambers. Stalin once said, rather cruelly, “When one person dies it is a tragedy when millions die it is a statistic.” The tragedy of Anne Frank came to represent the tragedy of every child, every adult, and every family that died in the concentration camps. It is the tragedy wrecked by religious and racial hatred and jingoism. It is the tragedy of neighbours who turn against each other, of communities that fall apart. It needs to be remembered because remembrance acts as an insurance against a large majority turning towards the dark side of humanity.
It is not just the Anne Frank museum that is a symbol of remembrance; the West tends to observe days to honour its dead. In the United Kingdom (and much of the Commonwealth) Remembrance Day (also known as Poppy Day) is observed and pays tribute to those – including Indian soldiers – who laid down their lives in the First World War. Everyone, starting from the Queen, observes the day to honour the Unknown Soldier. And it is not in one central location in the national capital, but in ceremonies across the country in tiny little villages and towns, that soldiers are honoured. Most of the country was not born when the First World War ended. But it is still a national tradition. The United States still observes Pearl Harbour Day across the nation. 9/11, as a day of collective mourning, is observed not just in New York but across the country.

Never Forget seems to the be the refrain, whether it is soldiers who have fallen in battle, whether it is civilians who have died in terror attacks, ethnic cleansing, slavery, or holocaust. There is something to be said about a people who remember their past, confront it, even the ugly portions in it, come to terms to with and then try to move on.

In India, the tendency is to try to move on without ever confronting the past or coming to terms with it. The last time someone tried to confront the violence wrecked and lives destroyed was possibly the Great Emperor Ashoka after the battle of Kalinga. The simple fact is that India as a modern nation has not confronted the violence and hatred in her past. We celebrate the Independence Day, but do not think of the million plus who died in Partition. We celebrate victories in war, and yet pay scant tribute to those who died bringing India victory.We remember terror attacks and rant against an enemy, but don

’t remember the dead. Worse is the tendency to think of lost lives as collateral damage.

Last week, 12th March, was the 20th anniversary of the Bombay Blasts. Thirteen bomb explosions ripped the city killing many and injuring many more. Twenty years later, there was no remembrance – not in the media, not amongst politicians, not among people. We remember Dawood, but little else. While mourning is an individual act, remembrance is about the collective psyche. The collective need to come to terms and heal. It is as much a part of nation building or community building  as celebrating joyous occasions. Maybe it is time we started remembering the dead in acts of violence, and come to terms with the violence within and outside. It is only when we do that can we heal, and move on.

Harini Calamur is a media entrepreneur, writer, blogger, teacher, and the main slave to an imperious hound. She blogs at calamur.org/gargi and @calamur on Twitter