What’s with these men and their sense of insecurity?

A couple of decades ago, an actress stormed into the male imagination with her heaves and gyrations to the lyrics of “Choli ke peeche kya hai?” Though the Censor Board came down on the words of the song, which were subsequently modified to “Choli ke peeche, dil hai mera,” chunri ke neeche, dil hai mera,” the innuendos were not missed by anyone, leave alone the men on the street. And I am sure that I must have been only one among the millions of women across India who had to put up with having to hear the insulting, “Choli ke peeche kya hai,” by every Tom, Dick and Harry passing by on the road. It felt like a violation each time to hear the lurid words and the image that it conjured up, of me being a piece of flesh, to be commented upon!

The feeling has not reduced since then and has only exacerbated. A couple of years ago when attending a Gandhian seminar in Delhi, it was horrifying to hear the organiser of the programme, referring to a venerable old historian by her looks and even having the temerity to call her his “girl-friend”. That she gave it back to him in good measure, when it was her turn to speak, is another matter. The man in question was not a spring chicken, if that expression can be turned on its head, to apply to the species bearing the Y chromosome! 

What’s with these men that they have to bring a woman’s sexuality into matters unrelated to the work that she is doing? Besides the man on the street, politicians are not above blundering on such matters.  Sharad Yadav recently caused a furore by referring to the colour and the bodies of the women from the South. But this is not the first time that he has made sexist remarks, and he is not the only one either.

Sometime back, a Congress politician who referred to his female colleague as “tunch maal,” was forced to cover it up by giving another connotation to the term. And soon after that, there is another example of a fairly sensible, senior politician referring to a stout lady doctor as a “road-roller” and offering commiserations to her husband. I suppose that the politician imagined this to be all in a day’s work, since he also commended the good doctor in question, for her work.

It appears that the average Indian male, including politicians, are totally oblivious to the Vishaka guidelines and the laws pertaining to sexual harassment. The definition does encompass “sexually coloured remarks”. But, unfortunately, these guidelines are formulated for employers to apply at the workplace. Perhaps, the time has come to extend these guidelines to public spaces, where a woman has to grin and bear with these remarks, as much as the lady politician and the lady doctor had to do!  

Why is a woman expected to have a sense of humour where her sexuality is used out-of-context?  Whenever I think of these remarks used by men, it seems to be like a weapon against women who are successful in fields unrelated to their sexuality. It would almost seem that these men are attempting to cover up their sense of emasculation by successful women, by the use of these offensive expressions?  In the case of the man on the street, it can only be an attempt to show a successful, confident woman, her place.

Hema Malini chose to protest about Sharad Yadav’s remarks but it would be good if she would also convey a message to her women colleagues in the film industry. When leading heroines agree to dance to tunes like the “badnaami” of Munni or the “jawani” of Sheila, let them also spare a thought for the many women whose youth and notoriety might be called into question by these crass lyrics?  

The author is a Bangalore-based writer