Patriarchy sees red when women make choices

The outrage in the social media over the ‘my choice’ video produced by a women’s magazine and directed by Homi Adajania which features a number of women, including Deepika Padukone, is another striking example of how deep-rooted patriarchal values are in our society where, wrapped in sophistry, misogyny they operate almost unconsciously.

Even highly respected media outlets are calling the video Deepika’s video as if it was she who wrote and directed it. Not one journalist who criticised the video had the patience to observe that acting in a film and ideating and executing the said film are two quite different endeavours and, no matter how silly a film is, an actor cannot be blamed for it unless it is the acting that renders the work silly. Yet, when it came to the ‘my choice’ video, the social media’s ire has been directed at Deepika and not at the director Homi Adajania or the unnamed writer who has gotten away despite writing sentences like “I am infinite in all directions.” If this isn’t misogyny, then I am not sure what is?

In the past,  Adajania has made films and has been identified as the sole creative force behind it. Critics have either loved his cinema or found it mediocre but have seldom identified his work with one of the lead actors.

Then why has an exception been made in the case of the ‘my choice’ video? Is it because a women’s magazine commissioned it or is it because it solely features women? If the video gives people a reason to be outraged then Deepika Padukone cannot be blamed for it, no matter how selfish or sinister her reasons for appearing in it may be.

Though the video is mediocre, both in its writing and direction, and perhaps in the acting department also, it wouldn’t have attracted so much negativity if it had not included two statements that hit patriarchy at its core.

The first is: “My choice to have sex before marriage or outside marriage,” and the second is: “My choice to have your baby or not to have your baby”. According to critics, amateur and professional, the first sentence encourages women to be adulterous, while the second sentence encourages women to keep men out of the decision to have or not have children.

The most surprising aspect of the reactions to the video, principally on the above statements, is the reminder to women that all choices have consequences. As if women don’t know that making a choice and facing the consequences is the very essence of life, one that simultaneously traps and liberates us? Why is it that every time a woman voices the word ‘choice’, we find the need to remind her about consequences?

Of course, there are moral implications in cheating on a partner, but is it also not true that very often adultery as a choice isn’t a sign of weakness, but of courage? 

Ditto for childbirth. Ideally, having a baby or not is a couple’s decision but in a society like India it is seldom a decision where the woman has a say. Women in our society are worshipped as childbearing machines. In such a situation what is wrong if a woman desires absolute control over her womb? The moment a woman has control over her sexuality and her womb, patriarchy is in danger.

This is why, despite its mediocrity, the video got it right; why patriarchal voices, many of them female, will forever find their morality out of sync; and why even though created by a man, the video will always be remembered as the Deepika Padukone video.