Of Sparrows and Mowglis

Ashwin, Parul and Kinjal — these are the three sparrows that frequent our empty nest! The presence of these children writing or coloring as one did the household chores or puttered around in the evening has been a regular feature in our lives. Every now and then, we correct the few writing mistakes. We then mark the sheet with the smiley, ice cream and star, as demanded! Five-year-old Parulben is fond of colouring and writing, while seven-year-old Ashwin’s eyes light up with jigsaw puzzles, Sudoku and games.  

These last couple of weeks there was some turbulence in their lives. A ‘hand me down’ cycle had created havoc, it seemed! This was similar to the Coke bottle in the film “Gods must be crazy”. 

“Having just learnt to cycle, this boy spends hours at end, roaming around on the streets. He doesn’t return even on being called repeatedly. Seeing this behaviour, his father, in what he saw as the right way of correcting, slapped him hard a few times. “Now, the boy has begun to rebel and fight back,” complained the mother sadly. 

On hearing this, I tried explaining to Ashwin that he could cycle for an hour every day but would first have to do his studies and other activities that we decide together. He did seem amenable to this reason. The father was simultaneously counseled to refrain from scolding and beating the child. 

While this addiction to the cycle may seem innocent, innocuous and even harmless, it is symptomatic of something bigger. If there is free time weighing on a child, she may get drawn into addictive computer games, internet, television or just drifting aimlessly. This is familiar to most families, rich or poor, educated or otherwise, even if the contexts are varied. Parenting needs no pre-qualifications or preparedness! ‘Bringing up children is fraught with many confusions and questions like, when to scold, when to and how much to relent, when to say no and so on. Often, children end up rebelling and revolting to the point of creating a complete communication impasse with parents. Many houses have to bear the burden and trauma of this terrible silence!

In spite of good intentions, these issues often scar and damage the child’s psyche. After explaining, influencing and counseling Ashwin, involving him in books, crayons and plants, the cycle mania is now slowly waning.

In most homes, with parents working, the solution to such problems could also be in the form of full day schools. This concept was thought of, a few years ago, in Goa. With a host of activities ranging from carpentry, gardening, flower arrangement, art & craft and other skills, the after school time could be spent well. This way, the children would learn to manage their time and freedom and taste the joy of working or creating as they grow. 

About 10 years ago, we had started a ‘Mowgli’ club at home. Over a dozen beautiful children from 6 to 15 years would meet up each Sunday at our home. Their activities would range from sketching and dancing to dramas and games. They would also spend time with plants and pets.

Recently, we met some young ‘Mowglis’ metamorphosed into budding young engineers, professionals and lawyers. We relived those days of the Mowglis chasing butterflies and feeling the breeze as they hopped and skipped. 

Children’s Day reminded me of the words of Plato, “Do not train a child to learn by force or harshness; but direct them to it by what amuses their minds, so that you may be better able to discover with accuracy the peculiar bent of the genius of each.”

Jayanti S Ravi
The author is a Harvard educated civil servant and writer, now working in the education sector