'Sow right to grow right'

Most of the parents who come to me complain about their teenagers not listening to them. They seem to defy their parents about anything and everything – right from not eating right, not studying enough to wasting time on their gadgets et. al. Rebelliousness in terms of not taking a shower on time or not wearing apt clothes befitting a particular occasion included. More than children, parents need some lessons here. After all, they seem to conveniently forget 'what you sow is what you reap.'

What kind of a teenager, a child turns out to be, what kind of a bond a child and parents share, how close they are etc. solely depends on the amount of time invested by the parents. The foundation is laid right from the time a baby is born. Did the parents spend maximum time with their infants when they needed them the most? Something as small as reading a bedtime story in a child's formative years makes a world of a difference. It's like putting money into a bank account and watching it grow. Such associations help to build a strong relationship, increase vocabulary, aid to introduce the right morals, feed their imagination apart from a plethora of other benefits.

It's as simple as parents who don't read always have difficulties in convincing their children to read. With the internet and television being the biggest competitors to books, reading can get worse. Not just academics, children should be encouraged to read fiction to assist them to cultivate an interest in reading. Fiction eases the anxieties of children and adolescents since it introduces them to an array of characters and situations they can relate to and can find ways to deal with life just the way these characters did.

Children can't be expected to be weaned off their gadgets when they see their parents glued to their phones, tabs or televisions all the time. Healthy eating habits of parents get rubbed on to children. But when parents eat out or order in food, children are bound to emulate. Expecting them to eat right is not right, right?

As someone said "Cultivate your craft (of parenthood). Water it daily, pour some tender loving care into it, and watch it grow. Remember that a plant doesn't sprout immediately. Be patient and know that in life you will reap what you sow."

Relationship and couples therapist. Helps couples and individuals deal with their relationship problems effectively 
sagarika@thoughtcounsel.com