Resolution free new year

It's time to restart the clock and reset our goals – commands the new year and nudges us to get into the action mode.

Actions are generally reflected in the promises we make to ourselves — promise to lose weight, get a new job, get off the social media, et. al.

Well, promises are meant to be broken and so are resolutions. This year for a change, let's throw our bucket list of resolutions out of the window and tread afresh on an alternative pathway.

Give up the idea of wanting anything to happen in the New Year. Your only goal should be to set a goal to have no goals. Especially, if you don't want to be at the same place every year end, thinking the same thoughts and feeling the same feelings, have no resolutions. Just get into the mode of being present and positive. By adopting this approach, you will almost do everything you are supposed to do when its supposed to be done.

Delete the "I must" from your vocabulary. Going with the flow sometimes is the best way rather than saddling yourself with unnecessary pressure. You can remain open to any possibility and receptive to any change that comes your way. Don't deny yourself the compassion for your failings.

None of us know what the future holds. Its beautiful to see it unfold at its own pace.

Setting the same resolutions every year is a futile exercise. The cycle only perpetuates disappointment. – why you couldn't lose that weight or change that job or were not successful in having that meaningful relationship? You had your reasons. Its time to stop forcing yourself, stop making empty promises, stop living through the expectations of others.

The moment you stop piling pressure on yourself to fulfil goals you are not totally committed to, you are giving yourself the much-deserved break to stop and get mindful enough to appreciate the things around. This break helps you to do some self-actualisation. You don't need a new year to restart or reset your goals. Once you look within, you will realize you are reborn and you have come out of the shackles of time – you have set yourself free.

Being HERE and not THERE is the way to live. Get over your mind's predictions and estimations about the new year. Happy New Year!

Relationship and couples therapist. Helps couples and individuals deal with their relationship problems effectively 
sagarika@thoughtcounsel.com