A tale of thousand marvellous moons

Mahatma Gandhi was once questioned by a western journalist on the secret of his life. Gandhi is believed to have said three words 'Renounce and enjoy' (tena tyaktena bhunjitha) from the Ishavasya Upanishad. This Upanishad is my favourite too, as it gives the secrets for a great life, both in quantity and quality. It extols us to wish to live for a hundred years, by doing karma, the tasks ordained to us.

This hallmark of Indian culture respects and values longevity and quality of life, which has been made an aspirational goal for each one of us. To prove this point, our traditions enjoin us to celebrate the first birthday, just as there is a tradition of celebrating the momentous milestone of having witnessed a thousand marvellous moons.

As we move in this journey of life, with all its ebbs and tides, its various moods and seasons, experiencing many-hued feelings and emotions, we also come to respect and admire those who have been through all this. There is an interesting tradition in parts of India, where the 80th birthday is celebrated in a very special way. We recently had an occasion to celebrate my father's eightieth birthday, which is also referred to as the Satabhishekam, typically celebrated for the couple. While this literally refers to the special 'showers' at hundred, traditionally, given the normal longevity, eighty was, perhaps, set as the milestone.

This is an occasion where special prayers are offered for wellbeing, longevity and goodness all around. This is done with Vedic rituals and chants of the Sri Rudram in praise of Lord Shiva, who is also called the vanquisher of death (Mrityunjaya). This is accompanied by a wedding celebration of the elderly couple, with the children and grandchildren seeking their blessings. Family and friends attend this function, offering their gratitude and respects to the couple. This is a toast for their life journey, time to look back at their voyage of life and celebrate all their attainments. This is also a time for them to forget and forgive, to heal and move on, as they hand over the baton to the younger generation. While this is the prevalent custom in Southern India, my friends from other parts of India tell me this 'best practice' is worth emulating and adopting across other parts of India, too.

An old Tamil movie song says that a good family is indeed a great university! My parents have been great teachers for us, teaching us the meaning of selfless service, patience, being active, cheerful and engaged always. They have put tremendous efforts in raising their children and grand-children, equipping them with excellent education, abilities and invaluable life lessons. Along with gratitude for our parents, each one of us could strive to be great parents for our kids, too.

Sitting beside us, our elders teach us through lecture, example and inspiration about all that they have learnt from the crowded, at times treacherous, often innocent but mostly bustling bazaar of life. We slowly learn how to find that silent, sacred space within, where the flame burns steadily, as we walk past all these myriad experiences of life.

Simultaneously, with all the medical developments made today, the average lifespan in India is reaching 68 years. States like Kerala are touching 75 years. This medical marvel should be accompanied by a befitting, wholesome, beautiful life. They could be in the midst of family and friends, and not in a sunset of bitterness and solitude. Wouldn't a thanksgiving and celebration with family and friends-co-travellers on this tryst with gratitude and healing be in order?

As we sit with the elderly in their twilight years, learning about them, their life experiences and the really meaningful, important things of life, we would be getting a priceless treasure of the circle of life. We would be better equipped to lead the hundred-year journey with excellence, that the Ishavasya Upanishad mentions.

As explained by my mother, we slowly let life teach us to metamorphose into the 'wise, successful, equipoised sage' elucidated in the seventieth verse of Bhagavad Gita, the song celestial- "Just as the full, steady ocean retains its equipoise even as rivers enter it, the Sage, into whom myriad rivers of the sense-world enter, remains unaffected and is the sea of equipoise."

The author is a Harvard-educated civil servant & writer, and has worked in the education sector, jayanti.ravi.dna@gmail.com