College admissions may take a toll on Gen Y

In the coming weeks, students graduating from school will be dealing with more stress than usual as they prepare to get admission into top colleges in the country. But what happens when your child does not make it into the college of his or her dreams? According to experts, if you are not too careful, your children might be heading down a rabbit hole, a downward spiral.

Dr BS Padmavathi, a psychologist, says the key lies in parents preparing their wards well in advance and adjusting their own attitudes to success and failure.

“It’s all about the attitude and you just need to keep reminding your child that it does not matter what college or what percentage they get in their exams,” she says, adding that it will also help to reach out to the community to ensure the child remains well-rounded and well informed.

“Go online and find successful stories of people who were knocked down early in life and still became great. Also, talk to the people around you and seek out stories and ideas about what they could do in their lives. Expand their world,” she adds.

Dr Ravi Prakash says that if you aren’t paying attention to your child’s stress levels, chances are the child might go into depression, leading to suicidal tendencies.

“Academic stress is something that is prevalent in a child’s life throughout his or schooling, but when it comes to getting admission into the right college, it becomes more serious because it could potentially determine the rest of their career. But children have to be taught that if they don’t get into, say, an IIT, their lives are not destroyed,” he says.

The mindset
Prakash also says the mentality where people perceive your success based on education needs to change in India.

“There is a trend where parents prepare their children completely when it comes to their academics but they forget to give them the tools they need to survive emotionally. They need to tell their children that they will always be there for them and figure out their future careers together and a bad result is not the end of the world,” he adds.

In fact, fostering a sense of hopelessness that’s tied to academic success and failure is one of the main reasons for suicides among students. Prakash says parents ought be able to understand what the symptoms of suicide.

“If a child says he or she is too lonely or feeling too sad, then immediately take them for counseling. Many times when children come for counseling, they say that they have expressed suicidal thoughts to their friends and parents but no one was really listening,” he offers.

Symptoms you ought to know
The child will express a sense of hopelessness. He or she may say that they don’t think life is worth living anymore.

The child will lose interest in everything. If he or she is otherwise sociable, they will stop going out.

They will use negative words about themselves, especially to their parents. They use phrases like, “I am of no use.”

Lack of appetitie, lack of sleep and loss of weight are other symptoms.

Often expressing hopelessness and helplessness to parents and friends.