Bullying in schools and boarding may have gained zero tolerance, but there are still many untold cases of children suffering because of their inability to express their sentiments to a teacher
"If I could relive the days I spent at boarding school, I would. You learn to understand, adjust and deal with people from different backgrounds. You also learn to be independent and inter-dependent on people other than family," says Frederick Noronha, who studied at St. Mary's School, Mt Abu for eight years. Apart from instilling a sense of responsibility and discipline, Santacruz-resident, Noreen Coelho says that boarding school also taught her son, Colin to be more organised and an all-rounder. But while some may love it, not everyone comes away with rosy memories.
It's always nice to have a known face amidst a sea of strangers, when you're joining a new school. So obviously, Priyanka Shah (name changed) was excited about having a friend who was already at the boarding school she was joining. Sadly those joys were short lived, when the so-called friend started bullying her. "For some reason, she didn't like me; she would hit me and do other silly things. Sometimes she would even stick her leg out and trip me in class," shares Shah, who studied there for five years. Afraid that the bully would strike with a vengeance if the teachers punished her, Shah kept mum. "On Sundays with hundreds of children in line and only one phone to speak to our parents, I could hardly tell her the trouble I was facing. When I did mention it to her she hoped that I would manage," shares Shah.
When the bullying didn't stop, Shah returned to Mumbai and studied in an ICSE school for a year but couldn't cope up with the different syllabus. She returned to boarding school without repeating a year. The bully was gone by then, but had been replaced by another. "I don't understand why they would attack me," she sighs. "Maybe something about me irritated them or they simply thought that they could control me." Some kids stuck up for her, others didn't care, and the juniors avoided her in fear of becoming the next victim.
"Victims of bullying are predominantly introverts; they give the bully what they want—a reaction," shares Neha Gupta, Child and Adolescent Psychotherapist and a boarding student herself. So, how do you equip yourself for this? "Boarding schools can make or break a person," says Gupta. "Be part of a group that you can relate to, open up to friends, ignore the bully and don't let them thrive on your reactions. Don't change yourself, but confide in counselors or talk to a teacher—schools today are aware of bullying and most have zero tolerance for it," she advises. However, not every child is cut out for a life away from home."Children who are unable to adjust even during their adolescent years should consider a shift, because this is when they develops the concept of self-esteem and an identity. If at that age, they are subjected to bullying or stereotyping, it becomes extremely detrimental to the idea of themselves."
Her advice to parents is that a child should always have the option of returning home.
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